Syke dietter.

Syke dietter.


Photo by Mathew Schwartz on Unsplash

Jeg prøver som dere vet å miste en kilo eller femti og derfor så er jeg i overkant nysgjerrig på diverse dietter og om det finnes en diett som jeg kan leve med over tid. I søken etter den «perfekte» diett så ramler man bort i mye rart og det er utrolig hva folk faktisk er villige til å gjennomgå for å miste noen kilo.
Her er noen «dietter» som kanskje er litt på kanten.

10. Tornerosedietten
Går rett og slett ut på å sove så mye som mulig. Sover man så spiser man ikke og da er løsningen sovetabletter. Så istedet for å være tjukkas så blir man pillenarkoman.

9. Bomullsballdietten
Blir man fysen så skal man dyppe en bomullsball i juice for så å svelge den, bomullsballen tar også opp plass i magesekken slik at det er mindre plass til mat så man blir fortere mett. Vil også tippe at man blir rimelig tørr i munnen.

8. «Blåfarge»dietten
Siden de fleste matvarer som ser appetittvekkende ut er i det røde og gule fargespekteret, bærer du i denne dietten briller som gjør at maten får et uapetittelig blåskjær som gjør at man spiser mindre.
En blålysdiett som derimot virker er å bli arrestert.

7. «Spis så mye du vil» dietten
En ønskediett, man kan spise akkurat hva og hvor mye man vil helt til mat rett og slett blir så lei mat at man vil begynne å spise mindre.
Den dietten har jeg fulgt i mange, mange år uten at jeg har blitt spesielt tynn av den grunn.

6. Bendelormdietten
I denne dietten skal man svelge egg av bendelorm og disse vil etter hvert utvikle seg og gjøre fordøyelsesprosessen dårligere. Kroppen vil dermed ta opp mindre næring og ifølge forskere kan man gå ned 400-800 gram i uka hvis du har bendelorm.

5. «Tygg og spytt ut»-dietten
Denne diettvarianten er akkurat slik som den høres ut som. Her skal du rett og slett tygge maten, men for all del ikke svelge den. Det anbefales at du tygger matbitene mellom 30 og 80 ganger før du deretter spytter ut maten igjen.

4. Fremmedlegionærdietten
Løp 8 kilometer før frokost, frokosten og resten av måltidene består av sigaretter og kaffe.
Med den dietten så er vel vekten det minste problemet.

3. Ørestiftedietten
Denne banebrytende metoden er bygget på følgende premiss: Hvis man bruker en stiftemaskin på sitt eget øre før hvert måltid, vil dette virke hemmende på apetitten. Det eneste negative, hvis man ikke anser intense smerter og høy infeksjonsfare som negativt, er at den apetitthemmende effekten begrenses ettersom man venner seg til smerten.

2. Tungelappdietten
En frimerkestor lapp blir sydd fast på tunga slik at det blir vondt å spise. Lappen blir sydd fast med seks sting, og to av bieffektene er ukontrollerbar sikling og pratevansker. Det har ikke hindret desperate slankere i å la seg operere.

NUMMER 1. Luftdietten
Dietten heter Breatharianism på engelsk, og har mange tilhengere verden over. Som navnet tilsier består denne dietten enkelt og greit av luft, og ingenting annet. Den eneste forutsetningen er at luften du puster inn ikke må være forurenset. Man kan til nød drikke vann men fast føde er fy-fy. Tvilsomt at denne fungerer over tid.

Dette var bare noen av alle de idiotiske diettene enkelte faktisk forsøker seg på.



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